Will Never Know
by LuminousDream
Summary: She refused to believe it...did not want to believe it. She didn't want to believe that he was gone and was never coming back. She didn't want to accept it...because she never got to tell him...


**A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a VERY long time, but school has been torture as usual, but now that the Christmas break is here, I can start writing again! So fear not, I'll get to updating the other fics as soon as I can. Oh, by the way, as for my co-fic with Temptress, well, it's her turn to write the next chappie, but right now her computer is down…so…I might just write the next chappie… .**

She walked through the foreboding doors of the place…that dreaded place, the place in which she feared since the first time she came there. But now…now she didn't just dread it, she hurt…inside, the pain like a thousand needles in her heart every time she came there.

She came to that room…room 1405. And every time she thought of that room, tears fell down her face.

Her usual, calm, confident, determined self changed into someone no one could imagine her being when they thought of the brilliant Hermione Granger. The Head Girl and brilliant witch that made top marks and ended up becoming an auror. Not even her friends knew this other vulnerable, sorrowful side of her, which she kept only to herself, and showed only to him…

But even he didn't see it…he would never see it.

She slowly opened the door and walked in. No sound was made, only tears…and more tears of grief and longing. She sat down on the chair besides his bed.

He was unconscious, breathing softly.

Her silent tears turned into quiet sobs, as she brushed his black hair from his face.

"Harry…" She whispered softly and longingly…lovingly.

She yearned to see those beautiful emerald eyes. Those eyes that shone brightly when he was happy, and turned a dark green when he was angry or frustrated.

She longed for that beautiful smile.

She yearned for all of him, but she knew she was only kidding herself.

For try as she might, she knew he was not coming back.

The second war with Voldemort had been devastating. So many lives had been lost, had been hurt….but like time, it had gone by, and they had won, Harry defeating Voldemort finally in the end. But there was a price to pay…a big price…and a most heartbreaking one…

**_Flashback_**

The 20-yr.-old witch worked quickly, cursing every death eater that came near her, desperately searching for her two best friends. She spotted red and immediately knew it was Ron.

"Ron!!" Hermione yelled out, hoping that he was fine on his own.

The redheaded wizard gave a quick glance towards her direction, giving her a wink to let her know that he was okay, right before saying one of the unforgivables to a death eater that was about to curse him.

She smiled inwardly, knowing that Ron had taken after his twin brothers, joking even at this dangerous time.

"_One down, one to go._" Hermione thought as she ran quickly through the battlefield, searching for her other best friend.

"Harry!!!" She yelled, frantically searching for him, when she froze completely.

There was Harry, 30 feet away from her, dueling with the dark lord himself.

"Today is the day all this stops Voldemort!!! Today is the day you die!!!" Harry yelled out.

His opponent only smirked and said, "how courageous…just like your father…," he said quietly in a menacing way, "how foolish as well. You think you, a little boy who feels big just because he has a wand, can defeat me, the Great Voldemort? We shall see about that. Yes, how very like your father…how foolish indeed!" He said, as he laughed out loudly.

She had never seen him this angry and intense before, his eyes darkening to the point of black, nothing but anger and hate in his eyes, as his grip tightened on his wand at his enemy's words, especially at the mention of his father. His gaze held such a hateful look full of revenge, so unlike the usual, gentle and calm Harry she was used to seeing.

_End of Flashback_

Everything after that happened so fast. Hermione could only remember standing there, frozen with fear, frozen with awe. She remembered hearing spells, curses, and yells, could only remember seeing bright green flashes. The next thing she knew, it was over.

_Flashback_

Hermione opened her eyes, brown orbs filling with fear and worry, as she saw nothing but smoke.

"Harry!!!" She yelled out to him, as she began running towards where she had seen him earlier, because at the moment she was being blinded by smoke.

The more anxious she got, the faster she ran, hoping that he was okay.

Then, she saw him, laying 3 feet away.

She ran as fast as she could and shook him. "Harry! Harry, wake up!" She said desperately, tears running down her face, as she tried to wake him up.

::No…it's just some game, he'll open his eyes any moment now and smile at me, and we'll go home together…get away from here, and I'll get to tell him…::

Hermione hoped desperately that it was just some cruel joke, but Harry never budged, didn't even move.

"Harry Potter, wake up this instance!!!" She said, as tears blinded her, while she was still shaking her best friend.

She remembered holding onto his hand as she went with him to the hospital.

The next thing she knew, she heard voices, and people trying to pull her away, while she yelled at them to let her go. Then she felt a hand gently wipe her tears away. She looked up to see her other best friend, his face filled with sorrow as well.

"Ron!!," She yelled out, as she hugged him, not wanting to admit what really happened to Harry. "There must be some way…there must be some way to save him. I know there is, there has to be!" She told him, as she looked into his eyes, wishing to find hope and encouragement, but all she found was despair, as he shook his head and told her that they had told him that there was no hope for Harry.

She backed away from him, as she furiously shook her head, refusing to believe it.

This was wrong, this was all so wrong…

It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to beat Voldemort, and come out of it together. They were supposed to grow old and happy, and talk about the days of the war. They were supposed to be _fine_…but they weren't. _He_ wasn't…

This was wrong…so wrong…he didn't deserve it…

This was all Hermione Granger could think about as she ran away from Ron. She had to get out of there, out of that dreadful hospital…

Raindrops greeted her, mixing with her tears of pain as she opened the doors.

She walked to a nearby tree, where she leaned against it, breathing heavily. The brunette closed her eyes, in hopes that this nightmare would go away, and everything would be like it was before all of this misery.

But she opened her eyes…only to find that nothing had changed. She only shed more tears, as she finally admitted that he was gone…

::Why? Why him?::

_End of Flashback_

To this day, 3 years later, she still had not found the answer.

She looked at his handsome, peaceful face. She touched his cheek gently, smiling sadly.

For the past 3 years, she had done research, hoping to find a cure, hoping to see those beautiful eyes again, but she had failed, and every night she cried herself to sleep.

But then…one night, she just gave up…something she had never done before…

She no longer cried herself to sleep anymore. She began working as an auror, and on her free time, she hung out with her friends, who were all happily married. They tried to find her dates, but although she agreed, it never went further than a kiss on the cheek.

And now… now she was here. The night before, she had made a decision…she had to let him go.

This thought only frightened her more, as she looked at his angelic face, and more tears blurred her vision of him.

She leaned towards him, giving him a kiss on the cheek, but unlike all the other kiss-on-the-cheeks, this one was earnest, filled with so much love and longing.

"I have to let you go, Harry," She whispered softly to him, stroking his soft, black hair. He looked so fragile…

"I don't want to…but I have to let you go, Harry," She told him softly, her voice so gentle and loving, yet filled with so much hurt and grief. She looked at him, trying to remember every aspect of him, so he would always be in her memory.

For she had come to terms with the cruel reality of all of this, and she would never come back again. She would never see those beautiful eyes, that beautiful smile, that handsome face again. He would never grow old and happy with her and Ron.

The Golden Trio had been broken…along with her heart.

Then, she did what she had always wanted to do…she kissed him.

More tears fell…tears that she thought had long run out of…

His lips were cold against hers.

"I'm sorry," She said, as she pulled back.

"Good-bye love," She whispered in his ear, as she stood up and pulled the covers up against his cold body.

She slowly walked towards the door.

He would never know the pain that she went through, would never know that she had tried to save him, but she couldn't, would never know that she had been crying for him for the last 3 years, would never know that she had become an auror for him…

He would never know that she had planned to tell him that she loved him.

**A/N: There you go folks! This one was quite long, but hopefully you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'd love to hear what you think of this, so leave reviews! **

_**Luminous Dream**_


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